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Wade Anthony Boggs
Hall of Fame third baseman and fearless time traveler. Reportedly consumed 64 beers on a cross-country flight from Boston to LA. Can will himself invisible.
Daniel Constantine Marino
Hall of Fame quarterback and purveyor of Nutrisystem. 420 career touchdown passes, zero Super Bowl rings. Frequents the Fort Lauderdale Hooters.
Margo Susan Adams
Acclaimed quantum physicist and Penthouse model. Secretly dallied with Wade Boggs in the late '80s. Arrested for shoplifting a $258 coat in a Costa Mesa Nordstrom's.
Michael Jack Schmidt
Hall of Fame third baseman and face of Hoegaarden. Highly decorated, highly pompous. Zero errors over 17-year career.
Chris Ciccolini
Shoots a three with relative ease. Sets a decent pick. Always sayin' jokes.
Dominic Rosetti
Loyal Pontiac enthusiast. Spins at Tabu on Thursday nights. Has 1,679,248 friends on myspace.
Carmine Ianacci
Favors Merge on summer nights and the warm embrace of Michelle F. in the winter. Owns 12 beaters in 8 colors. Usually drunk.
Rich Menza
Likes milk and chips with his pizza. Day-shift manager at Staten Island Best Buy. Bought Halo 2 and beat it in the same day.
Cousin Jizz
Eager to please. Good at stretching. Afraid of the dark.